Or, does retirement lead to familiar territory?
Leah Coffman
Hey everyone, it’s another new year. Yes sir, 2024 is about to be here—all big and bright and full of hope. I too, am big and bright and full of hope. As I write this I am scheduled to retire from my big-box pet store job training dogs on December 17, 2023. Then comes bombardment by holiday chores, and then working to understand what retirement looks like.
I have no idea. I got a work permit when I turned 14 and have been going at it ever since. What does one do when you don’t have a job on your calendar? My friend tried to teach me how to crochet. I should be able to do this—my nephew is a crochet wizard, and if you gave my great aunt a stick and a spool of thread, you’d receive a lace table cloth from her in a week. I crocheted a ball, and not on purpose. It was a lop-sided cat toy that was supposed to be a scarf.
I have always enjoyed cooking, mainly because I really enjoy eating. My husband is a pretty good cook and I’m not sure if I want to get in his way in the kitchen. I’ve got a good thing going on here, coming home to a simmering crock pot full of yummy goodness, and I don’t want to risk losing that by taking over the kitchen.
I tell you what, I am really looking forward to more napping. I always feel like I have an energy deficit, and I expect the ability to nap whenever I need to be life changing. Remember when we were kids and our parents had to force us to nap? What was wrong with us? Napping is amazing! But napping is not a viable retirement plan however comforting it may be.
I want my retirement to feel like a vacation. Of course, some people love traveling in their retirement. That gets much more complicated when you have six dogs and one of them has the ability to channel Cujo when cranky. I am not going to do the “drive across America in an RV” thing. One of my good friends once said that it is not a vacation if you’re just staring into a different sink. She’s right of course. My idea of a vacation includes room service.
Also, as an introvert, I do not understand why anyone would ever willingly get on a cruise ship. I absolutely do not understand why anyone would pay money for the experience. The thought of being locked on a boat in the middle of the ocean with 4,000 strangers makes me twitchy. That’s not a vacation to me. That’s a reason to go back into therapy.
Now let’s talk about plants and gardening. I do enjoy pretty flowers and delicious produce. I have had massive gardens in the past and loved it but I’m smart enough to realize that if you can hurt yourself just by sleeping wrong, you can’t dig and weed and water as much as you used to. We’ve adapted by planting in large pots and it’s much more manageable. This year we had beets, sweet potatoes, chilis and tomatoes, all happily thriving in pots. Some form of gardening is definitely going to be part of my retirement, but that leaves eight months or so to fill when we can’t garden here. What then?
What do I love to do? What makes me feel like I’m making a real difference? Training dogs, of course. I think I will continue to train the therapy and service dogs because that contributes to the greater good of society. That makes me happy. I will help train the overlooked dogs at the shelter, making them more adoptable. I will continue to work with the fearful dogs to help them understand no one is going to hurt them anymore. All of that makes me feel proud, good about myself, better about the world.
So that’s it then. For my retirement, I just can’t help myself. I will continue to work.
The story above first appeared in our January / February 2024 issue. For more like it subscribe today or log in with your active BRC+ Membership. Thank you for your support!